Wishing all family members a peaceful and happy 2010!
From us at Neelankarai
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Between Two Worlds : From the US and India-A tale of two weddings
(Actually the credit of this blog should go to Amma , as she read this in the (TOI-Times of India) Bombay edition and asked me to look up this article online. As soon as I read it , I felt like immediately sharing it with all of you. I could have sent you all the link, But apparently TOI links have some problem and do not open most times as I have experienced often. Read on and enjoy!)
“How is the US different from India?” i am often asked. As a scholar of communication, my first impulse is to answer with deep theoretical insights. As i reflect, i realise that the most interesting comparisons are in our day-to-day experiences. Let us, for fun and learning, compare an American Christian wedding with an Indian Hindu wedding.
In the mid-1990s, my friend Joseph invited me to his wedding and asked me to be one of his groomsmen. I had known Joe and Charlene for a long time and was delighted. I had no idea what it meant to be a groomsman. I asked Joe and he sent me a detailed itinerary …Come four days before the wedding. Three days before the wedding, you will have to get your tuxedo fitted. We will have the bachelors’ party two nights before the wedding. And one day prior to the wedding, we will have a rehearsal. My ears pricked. “Rehearsal? What rehearsal?” I have a theatre background and the word evoked memories of fun, friends and love.
As requested, i arrived four days before the wedding. The tux fitting was eventful, trying out a shirt with blue frills and intriguing collar designs. The bachelor party was, well…what happened in Denver will stay in Denver! And what did we rehearse? We rehearsed the whole wedding, from beginning to end! Where will the ushers stand? Where will the bride’s family and friends sit in the church? The sequence was laid out: first the flower girls, then the groomsmen and bridesmaids will come from the left and right side of the aisle, one at a time, meet at the isle and make a path for Charlene, the bride, and her father. Like any good movie, we had a few takes before we got it right. The next day, the wedding was an hour long and it was beautiful. Everyone who attended had a programme, followed perfectly. The music was exquisite, the decorations subtle and stunning, and the event appropriately fun and spiritual. I joked later that Charlene would have had a fit if the roses were not the exact shade of pink!
How does one compare an American Christian wedding to an Indian Hindu wedding? For starters, if you have 200 or more guests, it is a big wedding in the US (of course, everyone has to RSVP if they wish to attend). In India, a wedding can have anywhere from 200 to 2,000 guests. The wedding invitation is
addressed to family and friends and, on the wedding day, if friends wish to join the festivity that is perfectly okay. So, no one is really sure how many people will show up. And everyone who attends will partake in the wedding meal! If the US wedding is for a few hours, our Indian wedding can go on for days.
In the US, when Joe and Charlene got married, the focus was primarily on the wedding couple. In India, the wedding couple is important, but only to very close family and friends. In some ways, the focus is on the community reconnecting with family and friends, meeting new people and celebrating the young couple. I recall sitting faraway from the wedding “pandal” where the ceremonies were in full flow. We were gossiping and chatting with my aunt, oblivious to the actual wedding. When the right cue was given (drumming music), all of us turned and threw rice towards the “pandal” to bless the couple. Seconds later, we were back to chatting with my aunt about her latest jewellery purchase.
There is no programme, no guide and no instructions on what one is supposed to do in an Indian Hindu wedding. You step into this huge wedding hall and, from an outsider’s perspective, it feels like complete chaos. Kids are running around and playing, people are milling around and chatting and a small group is in front of a “pandal” witnessing the wedding ceremonies. When Saumya and i got married at the Balaji temple in Chicago, we watched our US friends struggling to find out what they were supposed to do. Saumya asked me, rather worried, “Shouldn’t we have someone explain what is happening and what they are supposed to do?” My mischievous side took over: “No, let them discover for themselves.” It was fun watching my American friends, who were used to linear thinking, figure out: Where does one sit? How come everyone is talking? Isn’t one supposed to be quiet during the wedding? Who takes the gifts? When do we know the wedding is over?
I could have told you how Americans are generally linear, direct and explicit in their thinking. And how Indians are often circular, indirect and implicit in their ways of life. We learn so much more about the same ideas when we unpack and compare our day-to-day experiences, like a wedding. Similar insights could be had from going sari shopping in India and comparing it to buying a dress in a mall in the US! Want to join us?
Nagesh Rao
The writer is an associate professor in the department of communication & journalism, University of New Mexico.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Entry to the blog
Hi everybody,
I've been going thru' the blogs and was wondering as to whether, when and how to get into this bandwagon , jump into this fray , when I was reminded of our younger days, when we used to play this skipping game , where 2 people will be holding the skipping rope on either side and swinging it, and the 3rd player , who will be standing in the side line with her saree or pavadai holding high with her left hand and waiting for the appropriate moment to get into that skipping groove. I pictured myself as the 3rd player in the skipping arena of blog!![ I think Bharath and Bhamini can visualise this , but I do n't know about our younger generation]Hey folks , I am just kidding as the blog was going a bit too serious. I thought let me make it sound lighter , hence this nostalgic blah , blah . See u soon with more serious reports and strive to solve the very pressing global problems , our 2nd Copenhagen edition
Vasu
Monday, December 14, 2009
An interesting take on global warming!
Finally I tooreceived an invite this morning to post on the blog !It was kinda weird that Swath had sent me 3 invites earlier and I finally received the 4th invite.( If the earlier mails had gone into spam how then did I get this invite... Anyway strange are the ways of technology and emails..! )
Continuing on the topic which is closest to Gopu mama & many of our hearts ... environment and global warming, & also very much relevant to the current affairs scenario of the summit in Copehagen:
I was reading an article this morning on the Wall Street Journal which I foiund to be quite thought provoking and was keen on sharing it with all of you:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704517504574589952331068322.html?mod=googlenews_wsj
So long,
Ramya.
Continuing on the topic which is closest to Gopu mama & many of our hearts ... environment and global warming, & also very much relevant to the current affairs scenario of the summit in Copehagen:
I was reading an article this morning on the Wall Street Journal which I foiund to be quite thought provoking and was keen on sharing it with all of you:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704517504574589952331068322.html?mod=googlenews_wsj
So long,
Ramya.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Attention All,
Since this is a family blog, and quite a few of us (at least the contributers so far) are new to blogging, the style has been informal and the format almost non-existent.
I'd like to point out that this is ok and I wouldn't want to put this blog in a strait-jacket and create a stuffy ambience. But there is a general protocol observed while blogging.
Most posts are addressed to the designated audience, at large, and never to a particular person unless the post is about a particular person ( for comical or inspirational purposes alone). Likewise, comments are usually specific observations, inferences, or addendas to the posts they refer to. Plauditory comments are fine. But dialogues between individuals, should, to the extent possible, be avoided. There are doubtless other platforms for that, such as mail and chat, which I would strongly urge all of you to continue using.
Do not worry about the size, content, format, form, or nature of your post as long as it is within the bounds of acceptable decency. That threshold is rather high in our family, so I think everyone will be well in the clear here. Nothing is too silly, or too profound to be aired in this forum. Likewise, feedback is most welcome as long as it isn't slanderous or downright denigrating.
I hope you don't find these guidelines to constricting. You just need to get into the swing of things and find your feet.
Writing might seem like an unnatural activity to a lot of you. It was extremely forced for me and still is. And there is absolutely no obligation to participate. But it certainly will make our interactions richer because writing is something that often bypasses the trivialities or obligations of person-to-person interaction. So make the most of it.
I hope to see more of you in these neck of the woods.
Cheerio!
Swathi
P.S: The mail format is best confined to mails but on the account of excessive tedium, I ask to be excused this time...and perhaps the next too.
Since this is a family blog, and quite a few of us (at least the contributers so far) are new to blogging, the style has been informal and the format almost non-existent.
I'd like to point out that this is ok and I wouldn't want to put this blog in a strait-jacket and create a stuffy ambience. But there is a general protocol observed while blogging.
Most posts are addressed to the designated audience, at large, and never to a particular person unless the post is about a particular person ( for comical or inspirational purposes alone). Likewise, comments are usually specific observations, inferences, or addendas to the posts they refer to. Plauditory comments are fine. But dialogues between individuals, should, to the extent possible, be avoided. There are doubtless other platforms for that, such as mail and chat, which I would strongly urge all of you to continue using.
Do not worry about the size, content, format, form, or nature of your post as long as it is within the bounds of acceptable decency. That threshold is rather high in our family, so I think everyone will be well in the clear here. Nothing is too silly, or too profound to be aired in this forum. Likewise, feedback is most welcome as long as it isn't slanderous or downright denigrating.
I hope you don't find these guidelines to constricting. You just need to get into the swing of things and find your feet.
Writing might seem like an unnatural activity to a lot of you. It was extremely forced for me and still is. And there is absolutely no obligation to participate. But it certainly will make our interactions richer because writing is something that often bypasses the trivialities or obligations of person-to-person interaction. So make the most of it.
I hope to see more of you in these neck of the woods.
Cheerio!
Swathi
P.S: The mail format is best confined to mails but on the account of excessive tedium, I ask to be excused this time...and perhaps the next too.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Hello All.
I have received queries from some of you regarding creating posts of your own rather than just responding to existing ones.
It is for this reason that I sent all of you, about a week after the blog was launched, mail inviting you to accept authorship to this blog. The mail is from the blog, which is probably why it has by dismissed by you or your mail server as spam. Please retrieve it, click on the link, and follow the very simple instructions to starting posting your content on this blog. For those of you who do not have a gmail account, you will be asked to open one merely for the purpose of registration and subsequent use while blogging.
The entire process is easy enough. Everything that you need to know is in that mail. I have, to facilitate things for you, reissued the invitations, so you don't have to dredge through a deep pile. So please do spend some time sifting through your mails and following through with the registration.
Mail me if you have any further questions.
My email ID is swathigopal@gmail.com.
I have received queries from some of you regarding creating posts of your own rather than just responding to existing ones.
It is for this reason that I sent all of you, about a week after the blog was launched, mail inviting you to accept authorship to this blog. The mail is from the blog, which is probably why it has by dismissed by you or your mail server as spam. Please retrieve it, click on the link, and follow the very simple instructions to starting posting your content on this blog. For those of you who do not have a gmail account, you will be asked to open one merely for the purpose of registration and subsequent use while blogging.
The entire process is easy enough. Everything that you need to know is in that mail. I have, to facilitate things for you, reissued the invitations, so you don't have to dredge through a deep pile. So please do spend some time sifting through your mails and following through with the registration.
Mail me if you have any further questions.
My email ID is swathigopal@gmail.com.
Rhopalic Fantastic
Here's an interesting word from our daily installment of A. Word. A. Day-by Anu Garg. More interesting though is the example which uses the rhopalic construction. Absolutely amazing and a fine piece of craftsmanship. Read on:
rhopalic
PRONUNCIATION:
(ro-PAL-ik)
MEANING:
adjective: Having each successive word longer by a letter or syllable.
ETYMOLOGY:
From Latin rhopalicus, from Greek rhopalos (club, tapered cudgel).
NOTES:
A rhopalic verse or sentence is one that balloons -- where each word is a letter or a syllable longer. The word is also used as a noun. Here's a terrific example of a rhopalic by Dmitri Borgmann:
"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality, counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalises intercommunications' incomprehensibleness."
USAGE:
"Soapy fired off a rhopalic sentence, that is, one in which each word is one letter longer than the word that precedes it:
'I am the only dummy player, perhaps, planning maneuvers calculated brilliantly, nevertheless outstandingly pachydermatous, notwithstanding unconstitutional unprofessionalism.'"
Alan Truscott; Talking About Behavior; The New York Times; Oct 26, 1986.
rhopalic
PRONUNCIATION:
(ro-PAL-ik)
MEANING:
adjective: Having each successive word longer by a letter or syllable.
ETYMOLOGY:
From Latin rhopalicus, from Greek rhopalos (club, tapered cudgel).
NOTES:
A rhopalic verse or sentence is one that balloons -- where each word is a letter or a syllable longer. The word is also used as a noun. Here's a terrific example of a rhopalic by Dmitri Borgmann:
"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality, counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalises intercommunications' incomprehensibleness."
USAGE:
"Soapy fired off a rhopalic sentence, that is, one in which each word is one letter longer than the word that precedes it:
'I am the only dummy player, perhaps, planning maneuvers calculated brilliantly, nevertheless outstandingly pachydermatous, notwithstanding unconstitutional unprofessionalism.'"
Alan Truscott; Talking About Behavior; The New York Times; Oct 26, 1986.
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